God is Faithful

Back in May we had a consult with our Fertility Specialist to discuss implanting more embryos and to see what this "go-around" would look like. Crazy to say, but because of where I was in my cycle, we started the process that day!

This time around was going to be so much easier that the last, I had a patch to wear, 3 different medications and a cream. On June 21 ( a year after my due date with Annalise) we implanted 2 nice looking embryos. As you can see the one on the right was already beginning to hatch out meaning it was ready to implant in the wall of my uterus.

 



I felt like they were a lot more relaxed this time around, not sure why. Last time they implanted the embryos and then immediately they tilted the bed back and had me lay there for a full 30 minutes. This time as you can see they implanted them and then 2 minutes later had me get into a wheel chair and wheeled me to another room to hang out in a recliner for 30 minutes. I have to admit is was a lot more comfortable!

 



Once my time was up I was wheeled to the car and was told to lean my seat back all the way and to be horizontal for the next 24 hours. I was also told not to lift anything over 5 pounds for the next 2 weeks...haha yeah right I said. When you have a one year old I'm pretty sure that is impossible! Mario was definitely super daddy that whole weekend as I "vegged" on the couch.

On Day 10 I went in to test my Hcg levels but I "cheated" and tested at home as well and so I already knew the result. But as expected they called me the next days with my number 154..."Congratulations, you are pregnant".  Two days later I went in to make sure my numbers were doubling but because of the 4th of July, I wouldn't get the results until that Friday. Friday came and went and I never heard anything and when I called, the office had closed.

Well....you might be asking? I miscarried the baby just shy of 5 weeks. When the symptoms started I was honestly in shock, I didn't want to believe it but deep down I knew what was going on. Today I had a sonogram to confirm it...an empty uterus.

Have I grieved....yes. Am I upset....yes. Do I think about only having 3 to go back for....yes, all the time but I also know that God is faithful. God already knows how many kids we end up having in the end and because of that I can rest at night knowing that I worship a God who loves me and has a plan for my life far greater than I can see. We sang this song at church on Sunday that I wanted to share.

"Never Once"

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful